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I'm Not That Good, Or Am I?

Does this resonate with you?


They must have made a mistake. They’ll find out that I'm not as good as they think I am.


I discovered my worst critic when I won a prestigious academic award as a college senior.


My response to that award notice was pure fright... and FIGHT.


Those thoughts shot through me like a cannon, fueled by a belief that being seen as "smart" was DANGEROUS. 


It took me years to identify the threat I raged against that day, stomping through my off-campus apartment, crying and screaming at the Universe that they got it wrong. 


In hindsight, I can recall a note of self-worth chiming quietly through the chaos of that day.I only noticed it for a split second.


Beneath my terror there was another belief which had been allowing me to work her butt off very contentedly for four years. 


I meet women every single day who work their butts off quietly in art studios, kitchen tables, spare rooms, and basements and converted garages.


Women who have numerous other responsibilities and accomplishments to their names.


Women who use their "spare" minutes to find refuge in creative thought or art making. 


 Will she stand up to her worst fears when the time comes to face them? 


That award was a real CATALYST—an opportunity that forced me to grapple with a belief that my INTELLIGENCE would threaten the very stability of my family system. 


No joke, ladies. 


Our beliefs are cast inside of the context we grow up in when we are most vulnerable.That award was the first crack in that foundation I grew my life upon.  (There have been many since then!)


What  catalyst will crack through your limiting beliefs and the thoughts that sabotage your desire to grow bigger than your fears?





For now, just listen closely. 


 What is the belief that chimes in your heart, wanting to grow? 

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