"Sometimes, I'm sitting through a process, just feeling completely anxious. But when I don't interfere with myself, the work almost miraculously comes together." Chie Fueki, painter
Last week, I ran a 5-day course speaking into a camera and seeing no one but myself. It’s a strange scenario, right?
Having led a FB LIVE only once before, I knew that the only way I could be sure if I was making an impact would be if I could encourage people to participate in the chat.
Since I can’t control what is happening on their side of the screen, I had no idea how it would go. Zero. But I have worked with my belief that I have to over-effort in order to make an impact. My job was to ask the questions and work with what they offered.
I am happy to report that the experience was THRILLING.
I felt AS IF I was in the room with each woman in the flesh.
The women showed up HUNGRY. That made my job EASY.
They were all on the literal PRECIPICE of CHANGING A BEHAVIOR in order to get an outcome they have long desired.
Some of them were anticipating making a shift for MONTHS, and in some cases, YEARS.
But they showed up. And then they DIDN’T GET IN THEIR OWN WAY.
One of the biggest obstacles to change are our UNCONSCIOUS assumptions about ourselves, other people or the universe.
In order to become willing to change a behavior, we first have to TEST OUR ASSUMPTIONS to prove to our scared parts that our assumptions are no longer true.
These were some of the big assumptions that were surfaced:
“My big assumption is that sharing my work with trusted friends would result in spiraling shame and fear that it would not resonate with them.”
“My big assumption is that if I put my incompleteness and imperfection on public display, I will not be able to stand the embarrassment.”
“My big assumption says If complete this work, I might be shamed in to thinking I'm not an artist and my work is not of interest."
Over the course of our five days each woman tested their beliefs/assumptions in TINY STEPS.
They also were willing to look at the tender parts that shaped those beliefs. The much younger parts of their psyche that was doing its job to mitigate the threat it perceived to their safety, approval or control when they were small.
And guess what? When they got out of their own way, they found the proof they needed to take a step forward and feel the ALIVENESS waiting for them.
One participant exclaimed: “I sent my five chapters of my book to four trusted friends. EVERYONE responded saying YES, I WILL READ IT AND THANK YOU and one person read it last night, twice, and told me she was so very touched and wanted more, more, more, pushing me to KEEP WRITING!" Are you willing to test your assumptions and feel your courage to create?