Last week, Amiee* came to me as many do: Tired. Tired of being in the same circumstance again. Tired of playing the same $50 gigs and having the same punishing thoughts.
She is in the middle of a 25+ year career as a musician. She is ready to stop identifying with the thought that she “is no good” as an artist, but she doesn't know just where or how to begin.
She has finally met her threshold for tolerating "no good" thoughts and sabotaging behaviors and is is willing to let someone in because, as she said, “I want to grow into a vision I have for myself, but I keep thinking the same thoughts, and doing the same things that lead the same places.”
When part of us believes that it is not possible to “be good enough” we end up defended against all possibilities. We believe that disappointment is behind every single door.
To invite an inquiry into that very tender place where she believes that not only am I disappointing, but that life itself is disappointing is the most vulnerable and the bravest invitation there is.
In that quiet place, inside the body and breath, is Aimee's true artistry. We beckoned there gently and she emerged timidly for a few moments from behind her defenses. She was a much younger, more curious Aimee who was willing to disappoint if it meant freedom from the fear of it.
Takeaway: Is there a part of you that is waiting to be disappointed in some area of your life? What is an invitation you can make to yourself to open up into that place to find a greater wisdom?