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My Judge

I don't think I've mentioned it, but I am working on a talk.   

Yesterday I had to submit a two-minute video pitch to be considered for a virtual showcase.Two teeny-tiny minutes. 

That's just a measly 300 words.

I write more than that in my weekly emails to you!

And yet, it was SO challenging!

I don't think I can truly describe the extent to which I overthought this. 

I spent probably close to twenty hours over three days (maybe more?) drafting and thinking and observing other pitches.

And that was on-top of the few weeks of thought and pre-work on the idea.

Resistance?  I think so, yeah.

My fear of being judged was messing with me - that little devil.I recognized the sign: an overreliance on other sources.   

I mean, seriously, I am going to be talking about the book I wrote - there is no one else to consult!  

On day three of sitting wedged into the corner of my couch with my laptop - I finally had enough!

I tossed out the three contenders and started fresh - I had a window of clarity and I took it!

And THEN .... I spent FOUR HOURS filming two minutes.  (Although my film/tv friends said that sounded on par for a first timer).

That's me smiling!   I managed to keep my sense of humor (mostly).

Thank you for letting me complain. 

Everything hurts right now.I do believe that as ANNOYING as it was that the work was SO MUCH HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, it will make the writing of the actual talk better. 

 Fingers crossed. 

I hope my encounter with resistance - my Judge - will help me notice when she tries to barge into my process again.

Awarness.  And Faith.  Faith is a big part of the creative process too!

And a massage.  

That's were I'm headed now!

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