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D's of Change

It’s common for our momentum to stall before we make a change and even after a big change.

A professor of change theory introduced me to the Seven D’s of Change: Death. Divorce. Disease. Depression. Disaster. Drug addiction. Downsizing. None of those sound like a day at the park. Who wouldn't stall with a change like that on the menu? Graduating from college was one of the biggest changes of my life. My husband's addiction and death was the second. There were long periods of uncertainty that followed both changes. When I graduated college, in my fear, and in my youth, I identified with my fear. I believed that I WAS my fear. And I believed that all my fear-thoughts about myself were TRUE. (Thoughts like: You are not smart enough; That award you just got - that was a mistake; you won't be able to even cross a street in the City; you are not talented; you don't have a passion, and you won't). By the time of my husband's death, I had the awarness that I was not my thoughts, but I wasn't yet willing to break with the identity that had formed around my fear and which was enmeshed with my husband's. (Thoughts like: If you are supportive enough, it will get better; if you keep the peace, it will get better; if you give him more time, the outcome will change). What happens in this space in-between the change and what comes next is VITALLY IMPORTANT and INHERENTLY CREATIVE. If you recognize yourself in the D's above, you are likely in a period of transition. If you are stalled on the threshold, it is likely there is some fear not yet willing to tended, and other fear not yet willing to surrender to stepping onto a path where your future cannot be foreseen. I'll add an eighth "D" to the "D's of Change" above. DESIRE. There are times when change is provoked only by our DESIRE for change. That was what characterized my latest change. Quitting my job after six years to pursue my mission to support women artists and creatives in big-life transitions. If you find yourself stalled in transition because of any change event, take heart. You are somewhere in a process of transformation where you are becoming a braver woman than you were before.

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