I'll admit it, travel hockey is not something I participate in with bells on . . . at least not always.
For four days last week, my son and I were in Lake Placid for a tournament. It is no secret to you - or to my son - that at least for this past hockey season, I have been focused on my coaching business and writing “the book.”
However, going into the weekend, I set my expectations intentionally.
I committed to hovering around my child so that I could just “be there” for him when and if he needed me.
And in being present I observed something I want to share with you. Perhaps it will be an inspirational reminder about how we achieve our big goals and why the process of getting to the goal is often as important as the goal itself.
Allow me to set the stage . . . or the rink. Please think of a recent goal that you have set for yourself. Imagine that this is a stretch goal, something a little challenging. Note if there are any obstacles that you can identify EARLY ON:
Are their obstacles to your goal?
Are you aware of internal critics that might derail you?
Have you met with any resistance so far - any procrastination or perfectionism?
Now, when the time comes to PEFROM your tasks to meet your goal, imagine that you are under-resourced. The reasons we might feel under resourced to meet our goals are endless. Shit happens.
Here are a few that were present this weekend for hockey players under the age of 15 and their coaches:
Emotional pain - hurt, grief, shame, anger, self-doubt
Hunger - (hockey players are always hungry)
Okay, so imagine that you are fighting off a few self-critical thoughts AND you didn't sleep the night before you are to perform a task to get to a goal you've set. Here are some of the ways my son's team chose to GET THEMSELVES RESOURCED in the face challenges this weekend!
My son - who is his team's only goalie and the team captain - got injured the morning game on day two.
Another mother, a physical therapist, assessed him right away. Then she followed up with a free physical therapy session.
A much younger goalie on another team stepped in for my son and played the afternoon game. He fought hard, but he was outmatched and he was heartbroken.
The coach and team captains met with the team to set their priorities.
Our team went to the young goalie's team's game the next morning at 7 am to cheer him on.
My son went to the young goalie's locker room early to offer his support.
When my son's team won their final game, which he was able to play as a result of the support he received, his team shared the win with the younger goalie.
I want to celebrate the young people who RALLIED to GET and to GIVE the support they needed to win a championship game this weekend with GRACE. While I am at it, I'll celebrate myself too. I was able to resource my son when he needed me because I made a clear choice to be present to support whatever obstacles got in the way of him participating in the weekend - not for the win - but for the MEANING it created as a result of the SUPPORTIVE RESOURCING THEY PRIORITIZED. They are ninth graders. They will remember the win. But they will also remember how it came to pass that they could even reach for that goal. And that was because they worked as a team to support each other when their goal seemed out of reach.
I want all of us - all of the women and artists and creatives that read this newsletter - to RALLY too. It should not only happen on a playing field.
Think on this:
Who shares your values for what you want to create in your life?
Who is the team you would assemble to resource you as you meet a goal that has (or many encounter) obstacles (internal and external!)
Who can you share your goal with ? Don’t keep it a secret!
Who can YOU support to achieve someone else's goal that you value?
When you resource yourself you create a meaning making process that supports the outcomes you most want to achieve - and that isn't always (or only) the goal you meet at the finish line.
Yours in braving creativity in small steps,