Stories that stall change
I just created a BRAVING BIG CHANGE mini-workshop as a New Year's offering. But I almost didn't.
Like me, I know that you all have big ideas about what you want to create.
I also know that many of you, like me, have either just experienced a big change event or are anticipating a big-life change.
Last week, I was telling the story to myself that I had to keep January and February as open as possible in order to complete the revisions of my book, "Braving Creativity, Artists that Turn the Scary, Thrilling, Messy path of Change into Courageous Transformation."
My fear was making a mountain out of the revisions process and I went for it hook, line and sinker.
The thing about attaching to fear is that IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD. Fear has a message of lack, and when we attach to what we don't have enough of, our fear isn't tamed, it is fueled.
I reached out to my coach (yes, coaches have coaches!) to see if there was a less reactive perspective I could try on other than "Mt. Everest."
I found proof of my capacity to tolerate the climb ahead because:
- I am excited and curious about this phase of the book project.
- I am capable of discipline - I have accumulated decades of proof enough to believe that when I set my mind to something, I can complete it.
- I am practiced at self-compassion. (Self-care came easy, self-compassion takes practice.)
- I am okay with failure. (It really is o.k. if things don't go according to plan. It is okay if I have to make adjustments along the way. In fact, I expect to.)
If we make an EFFORT to walk our path, the Universe will do its part. And the Universe does more than its part, actually.
Our job is to TRUST our creativity, which is not so much about our pens and brushes, scripts and choreography, but about how we show up with our tools when the mountain seems too high to climb.
Importantly, we have to allow space for the fear that wants to be expressed in order to tame it. When we do that, we become more aligned with the truth of what is alive for us in the moment.
That is #1 way we tame fear and re-pattern old thoughts and behaviors.
In my case, this recent fear is from a much younger part of me that truly felt inadequate intellectually, and it is trying to prevent me from feeling shame in the future by setting off alarms by way of limiting thoughts, confusion, and lack of enthusiasm.
The adult person that you have become is capable of offering the scared parts of you some TLC. With each kind word and small step forward you will accumulate the proof that you won't die of shame even when you fail.
All I think about all day, besides what my children will eat and when, is growth, mine and yours. I want to teach you how to brave big change to maximize your curiosity about the whole process of transformation!
This is the process that I have used to move through the BIG CHANGE EVENTS in my life, (like my husband's addiction and death, leaving my career to do work I love, and writing my first book) and how I am approaching the next big-life change.
Our willingness to BRAVE BIG CHANGE multiplies when we work together.